4-23-99

His eyes were sinking down.
His smile fading back like a boomerang frown,
and I over my cup of coffee and cigarettes prefer to lie.
Prefer to think of it as nothing.
It's been nothing.
My feeling cannot change. and I don't feel awful.
I'll just go smoke another cigarette.
He looks into my eyes and he want so feel
He wants to experience something unique, and wondrous with me.
But we both know it can never happen.
We've felt this way for too long, and the hunt is better than the kill.
So I'll just smoke another cigarette.
He reaches out and grabs my hand. The king of swift moves.
Maybe, but it's to fast to see who is really reaching,
and his face becomes blurred.
The only clear feature are the ones I imagined.
So I'll just smoke another cigarette.
He plays me a song and I think,
this is the one.
But the song was for himself.
And he may still think of me when he plays it,
but it was his hands searching for a clear tune through life.
And we can dance,
but the air clears before we're even done pretending.
Ill smoke another cigarette.
He is somewhere,
and he looks into me.
Sometimes he touches the ground like a dream.
He loves the sunrise,
and the wind.
He is poetry and musk.
But, like I said he's somewhere.
Oh well, we'll smoke cigarettes.

11-27-98

I bend every way until I break,
and I know you don't want to listen to what I have to say.
Because "hey", I might, for once be right.
It's never over until the end.
I have started something that will solder itself to your brain,
and rust forever.
In patience there is that one thing.
Until I find it I can never let go.
You repeat the "what ifs" and the "we should ofs"
What the hell are you talking about anyways?
It's all about you or nothing.
Everything is me
so you're screwed.

??????

It's late, but it's always late.
I think about you all through the night.
My heart in my head.
Interfering with my dreams.
When you call me and whisper "hello"
Somehow that tells me you have been thinking of me.
No one in this world could ever make me stop thinking about you...when it's late.
If we didn't have dreams how could we look at each other the way we do.
No one but you to share the future and past with.
How could this be anything but an obstacle.
I love you even without the night.
Even without day.
If there was no time I would still feel the same.
It's right.
I can tell by the sound of your voice when you say "hello".
Maybe it's time to believe in wishes.
All the myths that make dreams come true.
The sun is always shining.
 The rain can't always fall, but look at the way it makes us feel.
Just smile when the rainbow is slashed across the sky.
Close your eyes and see me in the night...when it's late.
And you can't sleep.
It will almost be real.
Stay there with me, lost in the memory of me.
Time will go slow, and let you cry,
let you laugh.
Maybe even lie with me, while the day slips away.
I only know I will never change my feelings for you.
I know I'll always need you.
Thinking of me, wanting to stay with me in a dream forever.
December 1994

07/21/2008

like your parachute
i open up
and guide you down
through trees and heavy winds
like a blanket i wrap you up
and keep you from weather
keep you from cold
but like a human i forget
and like an imperfect thing
i do what i should not
like we have danced these steps before
you move accordingly and i only just stumble
but together
we are like that moment
the finger first touches the cord
music

_________________________________________________________
he leaves when he is pushed against the wall of her heart and the bottom of his pride
he shattered into small shards of tears and anger
spraying about towards her
and she wonders why
she cannot understand how she rips at him
because she has never ached for someone
knows nothing of the way someone can make your whole body quake and tremble
as he is picking himself up to run
he drags his feet hoping she will pull him back
with words and promises
but silence delivers the final blow
and he is flung far away
where no one can find him

07/21/2008

she is swimming out into the sea
she is exploding all the bridges in her mind
so he can not cross anymore
and between the tears in her eyes and the anchor he is holding in her heart

i swear she is drowning
the positive part of her sink
fast
and all the negatives float around her
and she can not avoid them
her own emotional hurricane
raging and lashing out
she knows to tread water lightly
but often she does not yield to her own knowledge

july 2008

in the smallest of things we find the greatest of rewards
in small instances we are brought face to face with our demons
and the chance to move past to the next
we forget how precious the small things are
we only want the big
the instant
the grandeur and glory
instead of finding such delight in the grain of sand

oh how much we take for granted
how much we forget to give thanks for
and how easy and fulfilling it is to love
and it can be such a small thing
showing you love someone
respecting someone
small amounts of effort bring large reward
the smallest seed can bring so much growth
focus on the small things to be grateful for
small things to count as blessings

06/23/2008

the world as we know it

i do not care for much

the world before simplicity

the world before short cuts and selling out

when is it we lost all virtue in humanity?

when we settle for poverty and the day to day rat race

we are not taught to look at those in need

but to shun them

we are taught fear of those who are different

either by birth or choice

and who are we to be making these decisions

when our utmost law is supposed to be love

love and the ultimate acceptance and forgiveness

love people who seem hardest to love

not to judge or interpret

we are to do so much 

comfort and pray for those bitter and in need of a soft heart

anyone who needs help 

whether it is a smile they need

or money, or food, or shelter

you are obligated to assist

and if everyone were taught that

if everyone practiced that

if people really did those things

and remained humble

i could probably like a wold like that